What Happened in Denerim
by heronwaylightenstern
Summary: Includes: What I wish happened in some parts of the game, some fluffy one shots and some player-speaking-through-character things. No fourth wall breaking (that badly). Maybe a crack. [Insert typical phrase about the summary sucking, because everyone does] I don't know if this is funny. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. Just read it and see, kay?


The market in Denerim was busy, full of people shopping as they paced around the vendors and poked at future purchases. The sun was shining and it was painfully warm, to say in the least. Many of the shoppers took refuge under the large tarp that sheltered the circle of shops. Over past the Dwarven Crafts booth two terribly out of place people were searching around, one hand over their eyes to block out the sun. Rather than light colored dresses or tunics, the two were dressed in armor. The one on the right, the female, was in light brown leather armor, her tanned stomach basking in the warmth. Her hands were nervously clenched on her daggers at her sides. She was biting her lip and looking with her eyes as she spoke to the man on her left, dressed in heavy armor. In his large hands was a tiny slip of paper with some words scribbled on it. They read:

_Goldanna. Lives in a small house with lines of clothes just outside of the market. Look for the swarm of children nearby it._

"Are you sure we're heading the right way Alistair?" The brunette asked, fidgeting as she peeked over his arm at the paper. He snatched it out of her way and gave a lopsided grin.

"I can handle it on my own, Evelina!" He declared and she smirked at him. "Besides, we're right here, I think. Yes. Right here."

Evelina and Alistair stared at the small house with lines of clothes just outside the market. Just as the note described, swarms of children were running around and screaming with joy. A couple nearly barreled into the two.

"Okay, wow, I can't believe this. I'm going to actually meet my sister! Isn't that strange? Sister! I've never had one before, well I had one but I've just never met her. It sounds so strange. Sister. Siiisssttteerrr." Alistair rambled and Evelina rolled her eyes, silencing him with a full on kiss on the lips. He was caught by surprise, a small gasp escaping the corner of his lips. She smiled into his mouth and clasped her hands around the side of his face, pulling her closer to him. From somewhere, children giggled and made smooching noises.

Evelina pulled back, letting her fingers drag on Alistair's stubble. "Calm down. It'll be perfect, I swear. Now, let's head in before anymore of these little tarts make those faces at us." Evelina glared over her shoulder at two scrawny kids who were pretending to kiss each other, but were making sloppy and slobbery expressions. They noticed Evelina and broke into even louder giggles, snorting as they ran away. She rolled her eyes and turned back to Alistair.  
She slipped her hand into his and gave it a squeeze. Alistair looked down at her and smiled warmly, breathing heavily before putting on his mask of courage, and headed with Evelina into the cottage.

"Uh...Hello?" Alistair called into the empty space. Evelina's trained eyes automatically surveyed the place, noticing the piles of clean and dirty clothes hung and folded all around the house. A couple of children that bore similar features to the brats outside were playing games on the floor. The walls were a bit dirty, but Evelina noticed the streaks of clean, as if they were just freshly washed. All in all, this looked like a busy household. Who knew how many kids Goldanna had, if this even was her!?

"Eh? You have linens to wash?" A voice says as a woman strolls into the entryway with a bundle of clothes in a bag under her arm. Her red hair is messy, but managed to be pulled away from her face. Her eyes are soft and her face thin and bony. Lightly toned bags line her eyes and shadows contour her face. "I charge three bits a bundle. And don't trust what that nasty Katrina says, she's foreign and she doesn't know a thing about pricing and cleaning. Not like me, you hear?"

Alistair looks down at Evelina, who shrugs. His eyes flicker back to the woman and he clears his throat. "Er, sorry, I don't have anything needed to be washed. My name is Alistair...and, Well this might be sort of strange but...are you Goldanna? Because if so...then I'm your brother."

Goldanna scoffs, her laugh masking her confusion. "My what?" She lets out another giggle. "Sorry. But, yes, I'm Goldanna. You say you're my brother? What kind of game is this? How do you know my name?" Her eyes darken as she grips the bag tighter, her knuckles flashing white. Alistair gulps.

Evelina bumps his elbow with her shoulder. "You sure this is right? I don't know how many times I've asked you this, but right now is really not the time to be wrong," Evelina hisses under her breath. Alistair shakes his head.

"Look, my mother...I mean, our mother...was a servant at Redcliffe castle a long time ago - before she died. If you can remember-"

Goldanna gasps, dropping the sack of clothes. It rolls out of the way and she grasps at her chest. "You!" She seethes. "I knew it! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! They told me the babe was dead! They said you died along with mother! Oh, but I knew it! I knew they were lying."

"They? Who told you I was dead?" Alistair pales.

"Them's at the Castle! I said the babe was the King's and they said he was dead. Gave me a coin to shut my mouth and sent me on my way! Ugh! I knew it!" Goldanna fumes, crossing her arms and tapping her foot. Evelina recognized that habit from her mother when she was annoyed at Evelina for being too rambunctious.

Alistair bows his head slightly. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't know. I didn't die. I'm him...your Brother." His voice softens.

Rather than be sympathetic, Goldanna scoffs again and narrows her eyes at Alistair. "All that the good that did me! You killed mother, you did, and I've had to scrape by all this time! When I want back they ran me off!" Goldanna points a finger at Alistair, as if blaming him for killing their mother. Evelina narrows her own eyes at Goldanna.

"Well, that's hardly his fault." Evelina points out, rolling her eyes. Goldanna's furious gaze sweeps over Alistair and then down to Evelina. She notices Goldanna sizing her up. Evelina crosses her arms self-consciously.

"And who in the Maker's name are you? Some tart, after his riches no doubt." Evelina's eyes burn with hatred and she nearly leaps onto the red headed tart. "Or are you some whore he's paid to give him a good time that stayed a bit too long? Got too attached?" Goldanna smirked and Evelina's rage was at a boiling point. Her fingers clenched at her side and her face turned a shade brighter than Goldanna's hair. How dare this...filthy wench call her such a name!? She was Evelina Cousland, and is one of the last heirs to the Cousland line. If that woman knew such a thing...

"Hey!" Alistair said, his face contorted into a mask of rage. "Don't you speak to her like that! She's my friend-"

Evelina faded out after that. Her face slacked and she stared up at Alistair. _Friend_? Clearly they were more than that, right? Suddenly, an idea crossed her mind. Alistair had made a mistake, and hadn't caught himself. It was Evelina's chance to fix his error.

Without warning, She twisted Alistair toward her and latched her lips onto his. Alistair was startled, again, but eventually leaned into the kiss, as it was longer this time. Her arms wove around his neck and her fingers ran through his short hair. His hands slowly grappled her waist and tightened around the small of her back, pulling her up this his height. For the moment, they forgot that they were right in front of Goldanna, who was standing with an open mouth. Evelina didn't forget, though. She knew right from the beginning.

Then, Evelina slowly drew back and gave him a small bite on the neck. She sunk to her heels and grinned mischievously at Goldanna, crossing her arms and making an obscene gesture. Alistair watched Evelina and his face turned into fifty shades of red.

"Er...she's my **girlfriend** and a Grey Warden..." He continued defending Evelina, and she simply lounged back in pride. Oh yeah. She was his girlfriend, not some tart or some whore or a friend. Now that Goldanna knew that, Evelina kept silent. But she couldn't wipe that dirty grin off of her face when Goldanna would look over at her and then quickly revert her gaze back to Alistair. _That's right_, Evelina thought, _He's my boyfriend. He's also your brother. DON'T BE A NUG HUMPER_.


End file.
